[Kristen W]

husband diagnosed as bipolar back in 2004. was fine and great while on prozac and depakote, but went off his meds after 7 months. trying to decide whether to get him help or just get me and the kids out because of his behavior. are people with untreated bpd dangerous? does it matter? he has symptoms of both diseases. want to help him but kids come first and cant live like this for much longer.

[Jnelle]

A Ticking Time Bomb is what you have and I suggest that you get him some proffesional help really fast! Let us Pray!

[Jeanne the Genius]

There is a book that all mental health clinicians use to determine diagnostic criteria. It is commonly referred to as the DSM - Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental Disorders. Your local library probably has one, and it would be good to review the diagnostic criteria to see what you think.Many bipolar people take themselves off their meds -- this is a chronic problem. You probably have a gut feeling about whether your husband is a danger to you or your children. Do not ignore that inner voice where children are concerned. Bipolar behavior can be unpredictable and no one can tell you, unequivocally, that your children are safe. Bipolar disorder affects judgment, a key component of good parenting. Setting an example is another component -- we need to teach children to have compassion for those with mental illnesses, but not at the risk of their personal safety. Educate yourself, listen to your inner voice and take whatever action you need to to protect your children.

Bipolar condition is an on-again-off-again depression, characterized by intense bursts of energy or drive in between. Medication can limit these radical swings by'leveling out'the brain, but many people who experience bipolarity complain that the loss of their manic ('high-energy')state is a loss. That being said, it can take many, many months for the medication to have the leveling effect that it's designed to create, and it is usually extremely hard on the individual during that time.Borderline personalities are an altogether different situation. Borderline personalities have EXTREMELY frail self-identities. Instead, people with this condition define themselves almost entirely according to immediate feedback from others. Many become skilled manipulators and clique leaders, maneuvering others in such a way that the BPD individual receives greatest applause. (In many cases, BPD is recognizable by the expression of fantasy as truth.) BPD is more often treated by counseling and direct therapy than by medication.All that notwithstanding, if you aren't certain of the safety of your children, then you probably ought to take action to protect them. If your husband is violent, then perhaps he needs to be treated at an in-patient facilitiy until his mind begins to operate more predictably. He might be upset about it now, but when he regains some balance he'll understand the choice you had to make.

Kristen - There are very big differences between BiPolar and BPD from what I have seen. People with BPD can be dangerous, it depends on the individual. I found the books"I Hate You, Don't Leave Me"and"Stop Walking on Eggshells"very useful in learning about BPD. You may find some value in them. You may also find some value at BPDCentral.com, including lists of traits of individuals with BPD.

Having both Bipolar Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder, I can honestly say I have never been an abusive or violent person. I get angry, I make mistakes; I'm human, but there's no reason to jump to that conclusion based on diagnosis, independent of any other warning signs.People with BD and BPD are prone to extremes in their thoughts and behavior, but this does not necessarily mean violence. It can manifest as compulsive spending, promiscuous sex, insomnia, sudden abandonment of relationships, self-injury, etc. Obviously loved ones get caught in the crossfire, but statistically people with these disorders pose far greater threats to themselves than to others.If your husband's behavior is really irratic, or you suspect he may become violent, certainly you should err on the side of caution for your children's sake, but the best you can do is separate from him unless he has specifically threatened to harm himself or someone else. You can't just turn someone in for going off medication; there has to be immediate danger.Good luck and take care.