[janitor]

It seems everywhere I go, people want to grab my arm and "assist" me. I step onto the bus and first thing, someone grabs my arm with a lobster hold, setting off my nerves with shooting pains. It happens all the time. I use a long white cane and am fully capable of walking (though I do stumble thanks to poor balance). I get around just fine, going shopping and to doctors' appointments and school, but people seem to assume that grabbing a blind woman is appropriate and helpful. In truth, it just makes things worse. Once I was gabbed by the arm while crossing the street, and I ended up in the middle of the street disoriented because that person that grabbed me set off tremors and shooting pain.1

So, my question is: How can I get people to understand that I cannot be touched, that it hurts me to be grabbed and sometimes even a light touch is bad. My boyfriend understands and we have a sort of understanding that when I can be touched I let him know, because I do have decent days that allow for a hug or something.

I thought about getting a t-shirt that said "Do not touch" or "If you can read this, you are too close," but I think people would ignore it or think it's a joke, and I can't wear the same t-shirt every day!

Please make serious suggestions...I really don't need answers like "Just let them help" or "Too bad for you, sorry but you are SOL."

Ideas and suggestions would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

~Jewel

[juicyfreak401]

The Tshirt would just be taken as a joke so I wouldn't bother with it if I were you. Just explain to people that you don't need to be helped about, or don't like being touched.. Thank them for trying to help though, so you don't sound grumpy..

[Robert R]

you typed this how?

[Halley G]

Can't you just tell them "Touch hurts". No?

[Abby]

I have a problem being touched in general as well but I don't really feel pain I just hate it cause it's annoying. You should just tell them that you don't want to be touched, that you don't like being touched because it cause you pain and briefly explain your condition, thank them for trying to help because you rarely find people who are nice enough to be concerned for strangers and go on your way to do your thing. It pisses you off and I'm sorry for that but don't go snapping at people like that cause they don't really know you so you can't really expect them to know your condition or what you're going through. Make it clear that you're fine and move on.

[Smiley]

I know it doesn't help prevent them from touching, but you are fully within the bounds of reason to ask them to stop touching you. "Excuse me, thanks for helping, but you're hurting me." is perfectly reasonable. Or even "Hi - personal space issues. Thanks."
I would probably be inclined to quote The Emperor's New Groove -- "Whoa whoa whoa! You - no touchy!" But that's just me.

On a lighter note, you could try whacking them with your cane until they go away. Or tell people you have leprosy. Or get some pepper spray to liberally apply to those unwanted personal space intruders.

Sorry I can't be any actual help. I think most of us can't even imagine having to cope with your particular situation. Which I'm sure leads to some sort of latent guilt about having sight -- out of which springs the desire to "assist" you. Because we think about our lives, and then we think "God it would suck if I was blind." It's kind of a shame you can't tell people "I've been blind {since I was born, since 1997, or whatever it is} and I think I've got the hang of it now. Back off."

[Mz Toy]

How are you writing this?

[chris h]

Report them if they dint respond too your wish

[beta_slave]

Anyone grabbing your arm will think they're being helpful, so be as polite as you can, but just tell them straight away ''could you let go of my arm please''. It won't stop them grabbing you, but it will hopefully make them think twice about it in future. I work looking after people with visual impairments and learning disabilities and I do notice how some people think that personal space and normal boundaries don't apply.
To the people asking how Jewel is typing this - technology is a wonderful thing - you can get your computer to talk and tell you what is on the screen. Some people memorize the place of keys, or you can get Brailled keyboards. And I'm sure threes other things I'm not aware of that make it easier for visually impaired people to use a computer.

[jitendra s]

All you really need to do for things like this is say

"I am perfectly capable of getting on on my own, and you need to stop touching me because it hurts"

and if that doesn't work

"Stop touching me or I will report you to the police as assault"

because in all actuality it is causing you pain and there for is assault