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01-04-2009, 11:01 AM
No doubt he shows little interest because he is having trouble performing. He doesn't want to be a failure every time he goes to bed with you, and this is something that keeps building each time he fails to achieve an orgasm. As"they"say the brain is our main sex organ so if his thinking is that he can not do it he is almost certain not to. However, he should check with his doctor to be sure there is nothing physically wrong, it is unlikely but possible. Once he has done that you will have a pretty good idea it is a mental thing. The only way you can correct this is to start questioning him or suggest he go to a counselor. Perhaps there is something in his background, was he molested at any time, what was he taught about sex as he was growing up, does he have religious beliefs that may be causing a hang up. These are some of the things you could explore with him if you feel up to it. Maybe sometime before you came along he had a failure with another woman, and as I mentioned earlier this may be growing in his mind, in other words it is a self fulling problem. I know it can be very frustrating when you want and need more sex then your partner and it is good to know that before you get too involved, but if you want to keep trying andare willing to put in the effort there are some other things you can try, but first I think you need some idea of where is problem is coming from. If you want to try more let him know sex is no longer a goal if he doesn't want it that is fine with you. Then you can spend time hugging and cuddling, slowly progress to some kind of mutual massaging just be close and try to exchange warm feelings with no suggestion of having sex. Another time after massaging his back have him take his shirt off and massage his bare back, and let him do the same to you. Another time after doing the above massage his legs and thighs with him doing the same for you. Another time add pants off and massage feet and toes. The final step will be to add a massage of the genitals and see if you can bring him to orgasm. Repeat this a few times without any mention of actually having sex so that he get confidence in his abilities, then on day say you want to go to bed and see what we can do. I don't know that this will work from him, but I would think days of teasing would sure begin to build up for him, if not he may be a lost cause. I also know this is going to be very difficult and frustrating for you as you arousal will no doubt be through the roof. You will have to decide how much effort you want to put into this relationship and how long you can wait for unknown results. Good luck to you, I wish you the best.
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