[Mary Katherine]

I can't seem to find a way out of this relationship, every time i try to leave he threatens suicide. He cuts too. I am miserable, but we are in a lease together etc...

[sleepyhollow]

Don't let him manipulate you. It will never stop. Leave.

[keith734116]

do either of you have health insurance? i would suggest making a "threat" of your own-- either he goes to counseling (or you could go together) or you are out (i understand that you are on a lease together but there are ways to deal with that situation including subletting, etc). i am sure that deep down your boyfriend is a lovable person, or you wouldn't have been with him the first place, but living with someone who has severe untreated mental health issues can be unbelievably stressful & even dangerous.

[peace_love_0784]

serious advice : dint waste your time asking such question on Y - Q & A. consult someone elder or other person whom you can trust, you wont be able to resolve such issues through this site.

[the_countess24]

Chances are he was misdiagnosed, as even mental health professionals have difficulty distinguishing between the 2 disorders. The deciding factor can often be the response to medications, mood stabilizers, anti psychotics, etc. Bipolars tend to be responsive to them, but medications are often ineffective with BPD. "every time i try to leave he threatens suicide" is a known BPD trait. Unfortunately, they both have high suicide rates. See WNW.wrongdiagnosis.com

Consult a clinical psychologist, who believes in the use of the minimum amount of medications necessary. Because they don't prescribe, they are considerably less likely to be targeted by the sales reps from "BIG PHARMA". Ensure that you get a written copy of any tests performed (they may retire, or move, etc.). Go to whoever is recommended for the prescription of any necessary medications.

View http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_25.html about bipolar disorder, then page C. BPD is addressed on pages G, and X. Self harm/cutting; see pages 1, and A. Print for him.

I suggest that he gets re diagnosed, and undertakes a course in DBT, as shown, if BPD. Get appropriate literature for both of you, after the new diagnosis. Print relevant pages from 8m.com for him.

The best time to leave would be after he is stabilised, but only he is responsible for his actions, so you can leave anytime with a clear conscience. Suicide threats are emotional blackmail.

[Doodlestuff]

I used to have those conditions too! Even the cutting! But I overcame them with an iron will and the grace of God! It's not so much that he's trying to manipulate you (although there's an element of that), it's also that the pain of the thought of losing you is making him totally freak out. But you gotta get out of there anyway. And he's gotta learn he can't have everything and that he should grow the up and stop being such an EM girl-man about you. 'cause life isn't something that's meant to give any of us what we want on a silver platter! Losses and failures are to be prepared for BEFORE they happen! If a person gets upset because they aren't ready for the worst and then the worst comes, it's their own stupid fault, really!
Good luck to you getting out of there and good luck to him getting over it fast!