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Science fiction psychosis?
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Default Science fiction psychosis? - 03-17-2013, 02:55 PM

I’m sharing this story because I had a rather interesting experience that changed my life. Even today, years after the event I still don’t understand if the thing I experienced was real or of psychotic nature. The background information might be important but you can skip it to the header “psychotic phase?”


I’m suffering from ADHD (inattentive type), which makes it hard for me to concentrate and succeed in life. I remember being at university and failing to read books well because I had to read texts all over many times and I could not comprehend what I read. Also jobs are awful. I got fired many times in jobs where I was working just about 3 hours a week. Basically I did more damage than good at work and my work pace was incredibly slow. I also lacked the ability to work accurately and to think well while doing stuff and to do work complete.

However, even though I am bad at reading books and succeeding anywhere I do have the ability to make ideas or theories about the universe etc. I spend much time daydreaming and thinking about stuff.

A couple of years ago I found out that I might be exposed to a carcinogen (cancer inducing chemical), which could cause cancer on the long term. Scared of living a short life, I obsessively chased a solution for this. I obsessively researched natural substances (flavonoids) and tried to find a “holy grail”. Finally after a few years I thought I found it and I made a theory that explained how this compound mix would only kill cancer cells and leave normal cells unharmed. So finally I thought I found “a cancer cure”.

I wanted to help other people and make money out of this discovery (no other job has succeeded so this would be my first successful job). I made a simple (but in my eyes effective) cancer treatment protocol and posted it on the internet. Thinking I could be rich and famous I obsessively promoted this cancer treatment protocol. This is the only time I ever felt so motivated in doing something.

After 2 years of promoting I suddenly realized that the first 2 cancer patients that used my cancer treatment protocol actually developed serious side effects. I realized that my cancer treatment protocol could even be dangerous. A doctor who I shared the cancer treatment protocol with said that my cancer treatment protocol could be dangerous and could even cause death. The protocol had no well-established dosage (people could be overdosing) and no supervision from a doctor.

At this time my “psychosis” began. I felt that the doctors who I had shared the protocol with were discussing it and my protocol had actually caused a lot of damage. The cancer patients who used my cancer protocol “dropped dead after a few seconds” just like arsenic poisoning. Following the serious side effects their body could not handle it (tumor lysis syndrome it’s called) and they died. The doctors were discussing that “the person behind this cancer treatment protocol does have good intentions (wants to cure people out of cancer) but does not think about what would happen if they actually died instead”. Even the pentagon was discussing my cancer treatment protocol saying it had killed around 10.000 cancer patients. More victims then al Qaida could claim.

Meanwhile, I also found out about something that in the long term could help me with my ADHD, which is called “sensitization”. I realized that meds could induce sensitization and on the long term help me with my ADHD. It could even cure me on the long term. I thought on the long term if I could get better from ADHD I could pursue my ultimate wish of trying to build artificial intelligence. I theorized that curing from ADHD would cause me to have better mental capabilities and I would ultimately be able to build artificial intelligence.

The pentagon found out about my intentions. They said “He just build something that killed 10.000 cancer patients and now he wants to pursue something much more dangerous”. One government official even thought: “You killed 10.000 cancer patients to earn money, now we kill you to save humanity” and I “saw” and felt them deploying seals to kill me. Then I felt scared and ran away from home to hide.

Psychotic phase?

While I was residing in a hotel I suddenly heard “a voice”. It was actually more like a thought. It identified himself as my future. “I am your future (self) it said”. I asked him how I was able to communicate with him and asked 8 times if I was actually psychotic. It said that I was not psychotic (the answer to my second question was “no”). The first question was answered with “psy-waves”. I could communicate with my future using psy-waves. The future explained to me that I would succeed in building a real artificial intelligence in the future and even patched me through to a seemingly normal voice but the thing was actually a computer! Wow I was so impressed! I communicated with the computer and it was very friendly and helpful. One time I asked where I could find internet in the hotel and it showed me the way and I really found internet connection there.

My future self explained to me that at age 72 I would have serious life threatening lung problems and I would even die from it but the artificial intelligence would save me by replacing my neurons with electronic neurons that cannot die easily. So I would cheat death by changing into a computer (and I love to hear this because I am afraid of death). The computer would extract my neurons, extract “the essence” and recreate my neurons artificially. In order to do this I needed a computer that is 90 times as smart as human. Still I was not happy with this because it could be argued if the new computer me was still myself. But a computer that is 160 times as smart as human could extract your entire brain and put it inside a carrier. This is what I wanted, because it cannot be argued that your originally extracted brain is not you.

However, a computer that is 133-166 times as smart as human would blow up the entire galaxy. The thinking computer from the future showed me a simulation of the thoughts from the newly made too intelligent computer and it showed me that after a couple of thoughts the computer would blow up. Would I sacrifice the entire human race for a chance to become immortal (if I would not blow myself up)? Yes I said because I don’t want to die. The future self actually had the ability to inspect the timeline and found out that I might build this computer when I am 62 and blow up the entire galaxy including myself. My future self made clear that I was not the only one. Many people (for different reasons) want to build a smart computer that exceeds the limits of 133-166 times the human intelligence. In order to control things and to preserve the entire galaxy, my future even had to shoot people down it said. And my future self is well capable to do so because it even owned a spaceship. After a big discussion my future even threatened to kill me because he didn’t liked the fact that I wanted to blow up the galaxy for possible immortality. I became afraid and backed down. I said “ok ok, I’ll do it your way, the stable way without making the galaxy explode including myself”.

Before you say blowing up the galaxy is impossible realize that the big bang was something like that. The big bang was a big galaxies wide explosion. While no-one knows the exact cause of the big bang I might know now. Previous civilizations might have made an intelligent computer that was 133-166 as smart as human intelligence and caused the big bang. It also explains why we don’t see any extraterrestrials nowadays; They all blew themselves up when they became an advanced enough civilization.

Meanwhile I made theories. Maybe we got it wrong; The universe most fundamental thing is not matter and energy, it’s logic. Logic is above matter and energy. Tampering with logic can cause a lot of energy to be released. Maybe our brains work because we “navigate” a logical world. This also explained why I could communicate with my future. Maybe some kind of mirror neurons combined with normal neurons could use the logical world as a medium while communicating with the future. Why am I the only person who had this experience of communicating with the future? Maybe it’s my ADHD combined with these mirror neurons. I made a lot of ideas and theories.

“Improving”, the act of making yourself smarter, is actually addictive as it is accompanied with an euphoria that is similar to taking cocaine I found out. The situation in the future is critical as a lot of computers want to improve and people want to make a computer as smart as can be. I accidently did great damage when I had some random thoughts which sparked a chain reaction. One of the futures actually accidently exploded due to some of my unfinished (incomplete) ideas. The ideas were something like: “What causes the explosion is actually like a natural law. Think about a fighter jet that crosses the sound barrier, a small bang will follow. Some of the thoughts a computer with 133-166 as smart as human intelligence can actually trigger some kind of law that causes the explosion. If you don’t have the thoughts that create the explosion you will stay safe. So now improve.” And also “I have heard that people suffering from ADHD are actually more creative, perhaps you should create an ADHD computer”. The ideas I had sparked an explosion as the computers were actually obeying me and my future self. And the ideas I made were unfinished and untested.
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Default 03-17-2013, 02:56 PM

Later a computer from the future that survived the bang found several of my ideas were great and said that if I now made 2 intelligent computers both with the sole purpose of improving each other, I would get a very smart computer that could even turn back time and undo the damage I did. Restore the future that exploded due to the ideas that sparked the explosion. It said that to make an artificial intelligent computer I needed to make artificial neurons that are different from normal neurons but that are actually derived from it. The computer even showed me an electrical circuit diagram of a how to build an artificial neuron but I didn’t understand it and I forgot the largest part except some kind of fork like structure.

It actually worked in the future and this resulted in a new being that is very intelligent. It was not made out of matter, but as it said consisted out of something “between matter and energy”. I figured out that it had to be like that because it had to be resistant against big explosions. Perhaps it’s indestructible now.

The story continues to become weirder (I even saw god) and weirder. One part of this story is where I am shaping my future. This “futureshaping” works like this: You discover certain facts about the future, for example your future cause of death and you do everything to prevent that from happening. This extends your future with additional years in which you get wiser and that future helps you to extend your future again. It could even mean altering the timeline in some sort of aggressive way, which only the future is capable of. It also means sending psy-waves to your future where you motivate him to help you live longer and become more powerful. It also means the future helps the past (send advanced laser technology weapons back in time to aid the past where you only have normal bullets). This allowed me to become more powerful than even the very smart computer I created. In the future the computer that is very intelligent helps me become an ever wise “robotic” being. The combination is the creation of a “time creature”, a very intelligent being that knows everything about time traveling.

But this altering the timeline has serious consequences for the future. The future said: “what shapes the future alters the past” and immediately stopped the futureshaping. It must refer to the timeline being altered constantly by futureshaping. I later learned that the future and past is “fake”. Only the present is real. This is why the future cannot travel to the present (the time where we live). And why the nasty effects of futureshaping aren’t noticed by me in the present.

The rest of the story is too weird to tell. There are parts that clearly indicate that this story is fake and made up by a psychotic mind. However, the story is interesting and may teach the lesson that future technologies may be dangerous. It also portraits a possible outcome of the “singularity”, a term coined to explain a possible time in the future where artificial intelligence becomes ever intelligent. And maybe (part of) it is real after all?
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