[jimfrey79]

Hello i just met a girl over the Internet I've talking to her for about a month she is a great person,and i can say that I'm falling for her, but just recently after not talking to her because she was in the hospital for about a week she told me she has lupus,it made me angry that someone i thought it was in excellent health could have such disease she is only 24 yrs old. But that doesn't scare me i actually feel like i want to know her more and help her cope with this disease, she does not have friends or much family that can give her that emotional support.
and i just want to know how can i help her? and for her not to feel bad and push me away. any books i can read that explains how to approach and deal with someone with lupus?

please help. i want to make her know that she can have a much better life than what she is projecting her self.

[twsweasel]

http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html

I would suggest this website. It deals with a lot of emotional stresses with regards to lupus.

Personally, I would just suggest that you come to her with empathetic ear to listen. It's her disorder. Her life. Her pain.

If you want to bond, and more importantly help her then listen. Ask her what you can do to help. Be there for emotional support by asking her how she is really feeling. not the generic "fine."
I'm sure that if you just open up to her, then she will open up to you.

[kaleidoscope_girl]

Learn about lupus at WNW.lupusflorida.org
Books:
The Lupus Book-Daniel Wallace MD
Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired-Donoghue
We Are Not Alone-Sefra Cobrin Pitzele
All books by Henrietta Aladjem
A Delicate Balance-Cheri Register
100 Questions and Answers about Chronic Illness-Linda Ruescher

[sunnyheart30]

You could read books but they tend towards the medical facts and although it's good you learn some of that it doesn't cover how a patient feels.

For an overview of the facts AND feelings side please see our new film 'Lupus? Whats that?' Free to view at: http://www.lupus.org.uk/information/information_lupuswhatsthatfilm.htm

There is also a lot of information about lupus on our site and also patients have written their stories there too: http://www.lupus.org.uk/whatislupus/whatislupus_patientstories.htm, again by reading those you'll get a good understanding of how patients feel.

I'm sure she'll tell you what she wants you to know, eventually probably the whole story but I'd just let her tell you in her own time. Every lupus patient is very different and the severity of their illness is different too. However lupus is just part of us not all of us so I'm sure she'll want to talk about all the other things that make her who she is and not just her illness.

It's a good start that you are taking the time and effort to understand lupus so that bodes well )