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Junior Member
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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How can I help my Mom with cancer and grieving? -
12-17-2008, 08:14 PM
My mom is fighting cancer and grieving my brothers death to gang violence. I feel so sad and confused because I don't know how to help her. I love her so much and I am afraid to lose her too. I want to be there for her but I just don't know what to do.
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12-18-2008, 10:32 PM
First off, what about your grief? You need to take care of you too.Why not curl up in bed with mom one Sunday... make some tea and start a scrapbook together on your brother. You can fill it with photos and written happy memories, poems, song lyrics, etc.Then go through Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Get some from the library. They are really great books to get lost in.Make every Sunday a day in bed together. Crosswords, movies, girly magazines. Happy, silly things. That way new positive memories are made and you are both spending quality time together.I wish you both the best.
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12-23-2008, 09:07 PM
cancer is a hard battle. the bravest can lose it. i am thankful that i don't have to deal with a death of one so close too.its best to let your mom grieve and to give a polite shove off to those who remind her that she has to be positive or else. that is too heavy of a responsibility that people pile on.try to give her cheerfulness from you and grieve with her. its best to live in the moment and i know this is hard for her because i suffer the same disease.whenever you can throw in patches of things that she enjoys.
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01-04-2009, 09:36 PM
Try buying some of those wheat grass, chloropyl stuff. These are herbs that some people with cancer got cured by it.Emotionally, tell your mom that, even your bro has passed away that she is just getting carried away with that feeling. She just have to let that go, she may probably think, she brought your brother up in all those years but just disappeared in a nick of time.. Tell her to accept it. There is nothing she can do to get it back, even if she kill herself, nothing wil change, it is the emotion that kill us all, our thought...Let it go. Drop those loads on her shoulder. It is not worth it.Take care yourself too- KR
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01-20-2009, 07:31 PM
Dear God, what a double whammy on both of you two. How can you help her? Sounds like you're giving it your best. First you really care. Understand the grieving process and all the stages of it. I'm not sure how old you are, so the advice is tough on how to help her with her fight against cancer. Do you have a priest or pastor you can talk to, church can be very supportive in times like yours. Also, a counselor. My advice is just be there to hold her hand, try to keep her attitude as positive as possible-then again, this is a difficult situation, because she is grieving the loss of a son and you are grieving the loss of your brother. please find a church, God bless you, help you both through this, and make the cancer go away. Just a suggestion; there is a movie, its call"what the bleep do we know"it's a very good movie on how to improve your outlook and understanding.
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03-27-2009, 05:57 PM
Be with her all times don't let cancer get her it's so hurtful loosing someone. Give her hope and ask doctors what u can do be at all her app. gibe her support she will need it. I used to do lot's of things for my aunt she had breast cancer and past away. She just couldn't handled it. But tell ur mom its up to her if she wants to fight it don't let it consume her.
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07-04-2009, 04:02 AM
spend time with her..just listen to her... please please please take the time to just sit and talk to her.. i just lost my mom to cancer..i cant ever go back..i cant have one more hug, one more smile...cherish the good and the bad....cancer comes with moodiness and alot of struggles..just cherish every day..you being there with her through it all is more than enough..please trust me on this...never let a day go by with out her knowing how much you love her..
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Member
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: New york
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07-26-2011, 06:54 AM
First off, what about your grief? You need to take care of you too.
Why not curl up in bed with mom one Sunday… make some tea and start a scrapbook together on your brother. You can fill it with photos and written happy memories, poems, song lyrics, etc.
Then go through Chicken Soup for the Soul books. Get some from the library. They are really great books to get lost in.
Make every Sunday a day in bed together. Crosswords, movies, girly magazines. Happy, silly things. That way new positive memories are made and you are both spending quality time together.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
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08-10-2013, 07:27 AM
Cancer is an non-treatment disease, scientist may try to make the treatment of this crucial disease, i think in few years he is able to develop the treatment of this disease. I am sad to learn this. You have to show courage to his mother and makes she always happy. I think this may less your grief.
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