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How did your teenage daughter recover from anorexia?
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Default How did your teenage daughter recover from anorexia? - 12-19-2008, 12:16 AM

My 13 year old daughter has anorexia. She is currently in hospital being fed by a nasal tube. She is also needing to eat food from a daily menu plan. Her weight dropped to 35 kg, she is 164 cm. As her mother, I am devastated she has anorexia and can't help but blame myself. I need to give up work to help her with her recovery. There just seems no light at the end of the tunnel.
   
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Default 12-30-2008, 10:17 AM

I am sorry to hear this. I developed anorexia in my teens also although I did not hit my most severe point until I was 17 or 18. In the end, the desire to recover has to come from your daughter. Without that strong will to live and a strong desire to have some enjoyment in life, the issues will just continue. I simply had a deep terror of dying and I could feel I was dying at my worst point (I was 5'11 and just 70 Ibs).I would not blame yourself, although parents can sometimes be at fault through being too controlling. In the end it was her decision to take this route in the first place as a response to whatever was causing stress. Some do recover, some will have issues on and off throughout their lives (I still have very strong desires to be thin and light and have to battle to not slip back again at 33) and some will lose the fight and die.What might help is reminding your daughter of all the things she is missing out on and how silly it seems to be throwing her life away for a number on a scale. Ask her if she is strong enough to beat this thing that is actually controlling her, and just basically try and remind her constantly of all the things she could do with her life and the simple pleasures she is missing out on. You might also like to encourage her to keep a diary if she doesn't already, to write down her feelings.What has helped me in the long run was finding other obsessions, as in the end, anorexia is a deep obsession with food and weight, and it has been linked to OCD and aspergers quite strongly. They have found a fairly large proportion of females with anorexia also had either OCD or Aspergers syndrome. Is there anything else that interests her? With me, I developed a strong interest in a specific science fiction tv show and that became my obsession rather than my weight.I hope she gets better.I can be emailed on graelwyn@hotmail.co.uk if you need any support or advice.
   
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Default 02-08-2009, 08:42 AM

You can't really blame yourself. There are no known causes of anorexia. It could be the images she's seen on the media, stressful life changes (did she start a new school, is she liked at school, etc.), something going on with her (depression, hating the way she looks, needing some way to control what's going on in her life, etc.) something going on in your entire family (is someone controlling, constantly criticizing her and others even them self, etc.), and even something going on with her genes. I realize you must feel sick at heart, but this is not about you now. It's about your daughter and she needs you to be there for her.Be an advocate for her health by lining up the best medical professionals (doctors, counselor, etc.). Just listen. Just observe. Just be. Hang in there and be strong for her. My heart goes out to both of you.
   
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Default 05-17-2009, 07:27 AM

Hi. I'm not a mother, but I went through anorexia and balimia when i was 14/15. What you shouldn't be feeling is that is your fault. It's more of a level that your daughter feels she isn't thin enough. I felt imperfect and that no one loved me for being"fat"when reality was that i was 45kilograms, 172cms high, and everyone stared at me for being so thin. I know one thing is that i never had the support. My recovery was a result of my friends acknowledging i had a problem and telling me that i had to eat to the point they were going to tell my teachers. I wish i had the kind of moral support from a parent that you are giving your daughter because my mum didn't notice me for that whole year. I'm not your daughter, but in know one thing, it would cheer me up if my mother told me i was the most beautiful kids in the world. The best thing you can do is be by her side throughout her whole recovery, and when she gets better to be by her side, understand her, get to know her friends, that way she won't shut you out when shes older, or worse still, retreat to eating disorders. I really do hope your daughter gets better soon. It puts me into tears to think that someone else out there is going throught what i went through, because it is painful, and hopefully she will realise the size of your waist doesn't determine your friends. Please talk to her. Its the best thing you can do. Just remember its not your fault. My one piece of advice, make sure you open yourself to your daughter, so that she may do the same for you. She needs you now, and now that you both know that your daughter has a problem, things can only get better.
   
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