[Lisa S]

I have a daughter, 12 and son 11. I have just found out i have stage 4 ovarian cancer and may have 3-5 years left. i am the working mom, and their dad is the stay at home dad (our agreement since adopting them when they were babies). how do i tell them i have cancer, will have surgery and chemo and how do i keep them from researching ovarian c on the internet? how much do i tell them?

[matador89]

Lisa S,You know these children, and you know which is the best way for them to be told. There is nobody in the world who can share this news with them but you. It will cause them great pain, but depending on the bond that you have with them, you will all come through this moment and probably find that you are the closer for it. How much do you tell them ? -- You tell them everything. Do not let anyone else do this, it is for you to share with your close family. You might like to work together and research this so that you all'learn'together.Make the most of the time that you have left and I hope that it will be a joyous time. I wish you well.ALL ANSWERS SHOULD BE THOROUGHLY RESEARCHED, IN ANY FORUM AND ESPECIALLY IN THIS ONE. - MANY ANSWERS ARE FLAWED.The information provided here should not be used during any medical emergency or for the diagnosis or treatment of any medical condition. A licensed physician should be consulted for diagnosis and treatment of any and all medical conditions.Hope this helpsmatador 89

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please just have faith in god and he will cure you, i will pray for you

[Denisedds]

I am so sorry. What a difficult situation to be in. When you were told you had cancer chances are it was very overwhelming for you, you may have not heard everything the doctor said and it probably took a while to sink in. Your children will likely go through much of the same process and their reactions and thoughts will likely be different, because as we all know males and females do not think alike. There is no need to tell them everything at once, what you tell them should be age appropriate and let their questions guide you. Give them time to let it sink in and to think of questions they want to ask.I’m sorry but you will not be able to stop them from searching the internet for answers and if you try they will think you are keeping something from them and often what they imagine may be worse than the truth. Be open about it so they know it is okay to talk to you about it. Tell them you want them to get information from you, so they are not worried their questions may hurt you. Let them know by your actions it is an open subject; discuss your treatment with them, let them you when you are tired, when your surgery is scheduled and just explain as simply as you can what is happening. It is a process for your entire family.Please do not ever think it is best to keep it from them. It isn’t. From time to time I see a case where the patient does not want their family to know and legally no one can tell them. Until it is at the point there is no choice and it is up to an ER doc to tell them. It is just heartbreaking and very difficult for the family. How lucky your children are to have a mom who always thinks of them first. Bless you all.